Are You Confusing Identity With Authenticity?

We get to be who we are as a function of how we dealt with our past challenges. We master those challenges, from a state of survival, and then incorporate our reactions to those challenges as if they are our personality.

Once those reactions are incorporated, they feel authentic to who we are. The belief becomes, “I'm the kind of guy who does XYZ.” And yet our reactions are not intrinsic, they are adopted. When we recognize that our responses to past challenges are not intrinsic, we can begin breaking the habit of being “ourselves.” We create the opportunity to understand that who we “know” ourselves to be is not rooted in any inherent truth but is founded on the confirmation we received that whatever we did allowed us to survive.

This confirmation of “success” spans every aspect of our identities—who we are in our relationships, our business ventures, as parents, children, siblings, colleagues, Americans, and so on. However, all these things are simply created from our apparent success stories when dealing with whatever challenges we faced, which we then misrepresent as the authentic self.

In reality, authenticity comes from an entirely different space and is not created by our external environment forcing us to respond in a certain way. Authenticity does still represent a form of identity, but it's an undying identity—the kind of identity that stands for what's important to us, at all costs, whether we want it or not. Authenticity has nothing to do with what we want; it's who we are.

Once we understand this, we can allow the authentic self to show up in every single area of our lives, within every interaction, every internal thought, and every external expression.

Identity Isn’t Wrong, Authenticity Isn’t Right

If you're acting as your identity, this doesn’t make you wrong or bad. You're just acting as your identity. It's completely okay. It's not even less valuable than your authentic self. Your identity is part of being human. The distinction between authenticity and identity isn’t “right and wrong.” The distinction is simply that authenticity allows you to speak to your true self. This gives you the opportunity to plan, create and act in a direction that is consistent with who you really are. When you are being authentic, you are no longer having to remember anything or recall how you did something last time.

Because your authentic self is not adopted, but is intrinsic, it possesses a higher level of awareness. This means that your authentic self is aware of your identity and can check in on your actions to make sure it's not your identity that is driving you.

Tapping Into The Stronger Source

If you don't address the confusion between authenticity and identity, then your actions will be a function of an adopted reaction to a previous challenge. This means that you will be headed in a direction that is informed by your past and therefore only serves to support the adopted reaction. This will not be anywhere near as fulfilling to your true self as pursuing a pathway that represents the stronger source of what really matters to you.

Although there is no “right or wrong” about acting as your identity rather than as your authentic self, the difference between the two can potentially be quite damaging—not only to you but also to other people. This is because, even if you’re coming from a place that was effective and helpful to you in the past, the same adopted reaction may not be the most effective and helpful approach in every instance.

Acting from identity prevents you from looking and seeing clearly. With identity, everything is seen through a filter. That filter may be rose-tinted or you may be looking through a glass darkly. In either case, whether you are putting a positive or a negative spin on things, it is not the true picture.