Tumbling into My Purpose
I am in free fall, tumbling towards the woods in my 2007 Honda Civic. I hear the sloshing sound of grass as my car turns over on itself twice and careens head-over-heels towards the trees lining the highway.
Damn! I really thought there was something more for me to do here.
I await the inevitable BOOM as the car pitches helplessly. I abandon all sense of control and find perverse peace in this joyride that is bound to culminate in the ending of this magnum opus I call life.
But it didn’t happen that way. At times I wonder what actually did. All I know is something much more impactful came from it.
The car came to a halt. I deduced that I was right side up. “Whirr, whirr,” my dying engine purred. I checked my face to be sure it was still on. My hands and feet wiggled on command and proved I was generally in one piece.
Oh, I get it! My car is going to explode now! I better eject.
Nudging the driver’s door open, I had just enough room to exit. I grabbed my duffle bag from the trunk, which had relocated to the back seat. I left the pretzelled automobile behind and climbed up the hill I just tumbled down. My certain demise had been averted.
Two vans with gawking people had found their way to the spectacle. It was now sinking in as a harrowing experience. Stunned to see me walking toward them, they were certain they’d seen a UFO, as the rotating headlights seemed to come out of nowhere during my vehicle’s freefall. They must have thought I was an extraterrestrial.
Given the extent of damage to my dear vehicle, I was relatively uninjured: a cut on my left earlobe and bruise on my belly from the seatbelts. Overall, I was in remarkable shape. The police had arrived and were interviewing the man who had fallen asleep at the wheel to set in motion this collision of our lives and vehicles. He would be charged with Driving Under the Influence. I reflexively recalled how I, too, had fallen asleep while driving in 2002. After that head-on collision and subsequent DUI conviction, my life transformed in beautiful ways. At this writing, I am sober 17 years.
On this night, my first intentional move was to accompany my co-collider in the back of the squad car. I immediately and completely forgave him for what had just occurred. In that act, I quietly and karmically recalled my own recklessness, eight years before. I had looked destruction in the eye and was somehow allowed to stay here on Earth for one more chapter. Since, I have experienced a new level of respect for living, joined by a new sense of lightness and levity. Life is precious and should be lived with reverence, because it always ends before we think we are done.
As the days, months and years since that fateful September 25, 2010 date click forward, I look at the impact it has had on me and my relationship with all of humanity. What really happened, and how was the course of my life affected?
Simply, I have lived a life packed with miracles. I have become much more spiritually aware through it all. I have been to Israel more than enough times to make Aliyah and obtain an Israeli passport. I have had many beautiful relationships and been completely devoted to a lifetime of growth and development as a way of being. My world seems to manifest almost too simply. It is something like “If I say so” is the only factor necessary to make any and all things happen with some freakish degree of miraculous frequency. I seem to get the exact life I call for and call “so”.
As these “accidents” fade further and further into the rearview mirror of my life, I recall a piece of the experience that definitely took place and somehow helps me put it in a cosmic perspective.
As I was in my free-fall trajectory that evening, I had a “conversation" with God. He actually answered both of my questions.
Your children are well and will be taken care of from this point forward.
Yes, you have more to do, so I am going to leave you here to have another chance at it.
Then he gave me the caveat that has proved to be my experience as I look back from here to that fateful day.
“I am going to give you EVERYTHING you want when you ask for it. Good luck with that! I will be watching.”
So, here’s how it plays out. I have great friends and my family is healthy. I have a great partner and we are exploring everything that is here for us to discover in the world of man and woman playing and working together.
I am living from within my commitment to alter the narrative of mental illness on a global scale, and for each and every person to have a life in which they know they matter. I am committed to making a difference every day.
I manifest the life that I declare to be so. I am the poster child for having one’s word create their world. My life is a dream, and it includes all the pain and suffering that naturally come as an intricate component of my, and everyone’s, human experience.
Sometimes I think I have been especially chosen for this role. More often, I am left with the possible reality that we ALL get the life we ask for, to some degree. Trials and tribulations within one’s life can appear numerous or unjust. The tests that these experiences allow us to face more often than not will lead us to miraculous results.
Try it on.
Declare and manifest.
Then manifest and declare.
Then repeat the process.
And watch the miracles unfold.
